Twitter Thread: Pressing Questions From A Six-Year-Old At Bedtime

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mattstaff
May 1, 2020 1:00 PM EDT

Kate Bowler shared a thread on many of the ridiculous, burning questions that her six-year-old asks at bedtime. The mind of a kid is a curious thing, filled with wonder, and apt to ask the rest of the world the kinds of questions that we often don't have an answer for. Cause they're complete nonsense, as we know it. 

If you're looking for more hilariously strange moments from kids, check out these funny moments of kids being weird and stupid.

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  • 01
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Every night, in the sweetest voice, my six year old asks me a question in order to try and stall me from leaving. I commit to documenting these questions every night for the next 30 days because THAT KID HAS GAME.
    via @KatecBowler
  • 02
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Tonight: Mom...mom...mom? Mom. Ok, mom. Have you ever eaten a pumpkin? COME BACK. Mom. Have you ever eaten pumpkin seeds? MOM WHAT DO THEY TASTE LIKE!!!!!!!
    via @KatecBowler
  • 03
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Me: Goodnight sweetie. Him: Mom? Me: no. I love you but no. Him: Are raccoons awake right now? Mom. They can't kill you. MOM. They don't have sharp enough teeth. MOM COME BACK HAVE YOU SEEN THEM IT IS SAFE I AM NOT AFRAID
    via @KatecBowler
  • 04
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler He just yelled "DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WITH ONE EYE?" into the darkness.
    via @KatecBowler
  • 05
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Night 3 Boy: Okay mom. Goodnight. Mom, why do you have so much hair? Okay, night. Why is hair made of cylinders? MOM. I want to learn the a-cord-on. A-cordial? ACCORDION. IT GOES LIKE THIS [frantically mimes accordion playing] MOM COME BACK ACCORDIONS ARE MADE OF BEES
    via @KatecBowler
  • 06
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler He might of said "bees" or "beets" or "beads." | couldn't make it out. He had already been tucked in three times.
    via @KatecBowler
  • 07
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Night 2 (sorry!) Me: Goodnight sweetie. Him: Do you know any myths...any legends? Me: The legend of the boy who wouldn't go to bed. Goodnight. Him: Oh, oh, oh, do you know this legend? Mom. Come back. MOM. It's about a giant squid. MOM THE SQUID DESTROYED MANY MANY BOATS!
    via @KatecBowler
  • 08
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Him: goodnight mom. Love you. Me: love you (leaves) Him: (next room) Mom? Is cheese funny? I think it is. I only like STRING cheese....Mom? Mom. MOM. IS GOOGLE A PERSON? AND WAS GOD EVER BORN?!???
    via @KatecBowler
  • 09
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Me: Goodnight my love. Him: Goodnight mom. This is a good. Me: Yeah? Him: Yes. I'm going to sleep now. Me: Perfect. (leaves) .... Him: DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE LAST MEGALODON? .... Him: (quietly) I think he lives in the ocean. .... Him: THE BACIFIC OCEAN! MOMM. IN A COLD SPOT!
    via @KatecBowler
  • 10
    Text - Kate Bowler ФKatecBowler Me: I love you so much. Goodnight sweetie. Him: does Dad have a job? Me: yes. Him: as a ghost pirate? Me: not exactly Him: right right right. That was a long time ago. When you were a kid. In the Civil Wars. Me: goodnight lovie Him: a long, long, long, long.. Me: GOODNIGHT
    via @KatecBowler
  • 11
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Okay I can hear him in the next room. He is talking about Canada being separate from America as "The Civil Wars." .as a historian...I'm not sure what to say about my job performance.
    via @KatecBowler
  • 12
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Him: before you go, tell me one constellation of stars. Me: Orion. Goodnight lovie. Him: mom, wait! I have to tell you. [dramaric pause] I picked you. Me: what? Him: as a baby. I picked you. For my mom. Me: [melting] Him: I picked your tummy. You are MY mom. Me: you win.
    via @KatecBowler
  • 13
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Him: I don't have a question. Me: Oh! Okay! Goodnight lovie. Him: But I put something in the sink. Me: Wait, what? Him: I found it outside. It's part of a lizard tail. By tomorrow, it will grow back into a lizard. Me: ....l see your logic.
    via @KatecBowler
  • 14
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Him: (yelling) MOM, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL IS? Him: (yelling) IS MAGIC REAL? IS A MAGIC TRICK A TRICK? Him: (grumbling) Well now I am thinking about if the sun is just lava.
    via @KatecBowler
  • 15
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Him: (praying) and thank you God for snakes, Amen. Me: Goodnight sweetie. Him: But what is the difference between an ogre and a troll? .... Him: Are you not answering because you don't believe in Big Foot? .... Him: (whispering) ....because he is *reaaaaaaaaaaall*
    via @KatecBowler
  • 16
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler ФKatecBowler Me: love you sweetie. Night. Him: goodnight. To all the crystals. Me: okay Him: who was the first person to ever find a crystal? Me: goodnight love. Him: in a caaaaaaaaaaaave with maaaaaaaany secrets. Me: I don't know how to explain you to other people.
    via @KatecBowler
  • 17
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Me: you did a great job reading. Night love. Him: why do they call it a li-bary? (library) Me: night sweetie Him: Because people lieeeeeeeeeee... they lie about the li-bary? Him: MOM COME BACK WHY ARE THEY LYING? ARE THEY LYING ABOUT THE BOOKS OR WHAT?!?
    via @KatecBowler
  • 18
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler ФKatecBowler Him: before you try to put me to bed I am talking to you about my pet. Me: you don't have a pet, hon. Him: I knew you would be reeeeeaaaally scared. you don't even have to see it. Me: ..... are you telling me Him: I HID HIM. Me: (to husband) PLEASE COME IN HERE
    via @KatecBowler
  • 19
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Me: Night lovie Him: Does God sleep? Does God sleep on another planet? God didn't make me Mom. You made me. With your body. And when I came out we looked at each and it was LOVE MOM. I love wolves. Can we make a wolf? With a collar? With a crystal on the collar? Tomorrow? Wolfs?
    via @KatecBowler
  • 20
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Him: Mom, can we talk about boats? Me: one thing and then eyes closed Him: OKAY (deep breath) because pirates are REAL and are alive NOW. But mostly they killed a-chother or were killed by GIANT SQUIDS or monsters that (giant arms) SQUEEZE BOATS AND CRUSH THEM. Sigh. Goodnight.
    via @KatecBowler
  • 21
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Me: you are a wonderful boy Him: but I don't know what blueberries smell like Me: try tomorrow Him: how do pirates feel when they walk on land? Weird? Me: not sure. goodnight Him: dinner tonight was bad. i mean, BAD Me: NOT NICE BUD Him: (kisses my nose) but good try, mom
    via @KatecBowler
  • 22
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Him: Mom, sometimes I am so scared of the Yeti. Not the Loch Ness, that is fine. But the Yeti.. Me: You're safe. Love you sweetie. Night. (leaves) Him: Yes, but have you ever been bitten by a tiger? Him: But you've been bitten by a wolf? A bear? Him: SO THAT'S A YES?!!!
    via @KatecBowler
  • 23
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler **He is too cute. I have given up and am attempting to lie in his bed and hope he will fall asleep if I am completely immobile. There is no hope.** Him: (poking my face) Mom, can we talk about God rising from the dead? .... Him: (quietly) well, now I have LOTS of questions...
    via @KatecBowler
  • 24
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Me: We need to talk about how you threw a rock today. Not good Him: ....l see the moon Me: I need you to know it was bad Him: I feel okay Me: Throwing rocks is not good Him: in the story, David hit Goliath with a rock and it was GREAT Me (to husband):I am losing badly here
    via @KatecBowler
  • 25
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Me: goodnight lovie Him: (waggling eyebrows) goodnight mom. It will be hard for you to leave Me: (kisses head) I'll be fine Him: Goodnight "M" "O" "M". "M" "O" "M" spells DAD...right mom? (makes direct eye contact) Me: You know how much I want to correct you Him: I DO!
    via @KatecBowler
  • 26
    Text - Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Me: Love you sweetie. Goodnight. Him: Goodnight mommy. I leave. Storm begins. Huge crack of thunder. Him: (from dark) MOM CAN YOU PLEASE TURN OFF THE STORM Me: (yelling) I CAN TRY Him: WHAT WILL YOU TRY Me: LOVE I GUESS? Him: THAT WON'T WORK....TRY SNUGGLES FOR ME INSTEAD
    via @KatecBowler
  • 27
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Him: Night! oh mom, I think this is a new tooth **shows molar. WHAT. Is that a wisdom tooth? hiding alarm** Me: oh dear. you are getting older. Him: OH! can I get my driver's license? Me: you are 6 Him: FINE! so can I stop the tooth from growing so I don't grow up?!
    via @KatecBowler
  • 28
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Him: Mom, what can I trade you? (shows me my own coin collection) Me: No lovie. Not right now. Night. Him: I'm trading you for this. (hands me my own childhood bear) Me: You're giving me my own stuff back Him: A trade! Choose coin or bear Me: THIS IS A HOSTAGE NEGOTIATION
    via @KatecBowler
  • 29
    Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Me: Night love. Him: Can I listen to your heart? Me: Ok **quiet** Him: it's beating fast **quiet** Him: did you love someone so much that your heart stops beating? did you fall over? did you die? or did you just go to sleep? Me: no? Him: SO YOU DIDN'T LOVE SOMEONE?!
    via @KatecBowler

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